Dirty mirror progress pics

I like to take pictures of myself. Go ahead, look at the camera roll on my phone, you'll see. It's not really a vanity thing. It's because, no matter what my weight at any given time, I just don't have a clear sense of what my body looks like. I never have. That might be part of why I let myself get so overweight in the first place- I just don't have a good concept of my own body. Also, I tend to gain weight first and lose it last in my lower body- the part you don't necessarily see in your routine bathroom mirror situation. Anyway, the mirror pictures help me understand what I really look like to other people, though of course sometimes that's good news and sometimes it's bad news. Today I bring you some of these pictures, if you'll kindly excuse the dirty full length mirror and bad lighting.

On the left is a picture of me from this past summer, I think that was in July or August, and I had just woken up and was on my way to the gym. I was living in a hotel room, working nights as a travel nurse, going through a weird breakup, and it showed all over my face and body. My posture, my facial expression...the best word to describe that era of my life was and always will be "miserable."

On the right, me on my way to the gym this morning, six months or so later. Similar outfit, similar time of day. But SO DIFFERENT. Not even the weight, which is about a 30 pound difference, but the whole presence. Totally different. I didn't even take this picture with the intention of putting it alongside the first one- it was just a routine mirror picture as I headed out the door. But the difference blows my mind. And I got my waist back, it seems. Hooray!

In the weight department this week, I'm happy to report that my naked first-thing-in-the-morning weight is dangerously close to being under 200. The last time I remember being under 200 was about 2 years ago...one of the last times I weighed myself before I started avoiding the scale and really letting things get out of control. I can't wait to see a number starting with "1" on the scale. I don't know what I'll do. Cry, maybe. Tears of joy.