Sads

I just have a bad case of the sads tonight. Nothing is wrong that I can quantify- I actually had a great week at work, overtime and all. I haven't given last week's wait-list shocker much thought at all. I've kept on track with my eating for the most part. I even had a fun weeknight dinner out with friends last night. All in all, things are moving right along. One of my supervisors even forwarded me an email with some totally unsolicited and super positive feedback from a coworker. Life is pretty good, friends.

But still I feel a little sad. Is it because my 30th birthday is looming? I really, really don't want to be a girl who freaks out over turning 30. I've always had a pretty healthy view on aging, I think. When I really whittle it down, it's not turning 30 that makes my chest hurt- it's thinking about how I'll celebrate. I put so much pressure on birthdays to make me feel special and I can never seem to capture the feeling I'm looking for. Isn't that so silly? Even sillier: I never really celebrated my 21st birthday, and I still regret it a little.

I'm not trying to whine. Not at all. I want to choose to celebrate this milestone because I want to choose not to mope about it. I think that's what's putting pressure on the situation. And then I still feel mopey. Am I normal? I don't know. I don't have answers. I only have feelings.

The interesting this is that when I was working through these things this week, all I wanted was to have the time to get on the treadmill or on the yoga mat. Working overtime this week meant I only had one day for workout out and I missed it. I actually missed it. That's major progress.

On the weight loss agenda: weigh in in the morning, followed by yoga. It's supposed to be an absolutely beautiful spring day so maybe I'll squeeze in a walk or easy jog? I think I need it to clear my head.